THE PERFECT BODY??

(Disclaimer: Whilst I touch on the topic of doctors and health type stuff this particular piece is more about society’s issue of body image. It is my opinion of the fact that society is putting too much pressure on people, especially teenagers and children to, what a few select people think they should, look like. Oh and as per usual if I offend anyone, oh well, I’m not sorry because this is my opinion only)

Is there such a thing as the perfect body?
Beauty/perfection is in the eye of the beholder – so they say, and I suppose, they are correct in that statement. Things I think are good my partner thinks are crap. It’s happened in the past where I’ve made a comment about thinking someone is sexy and she tells me I’m blind. Same thing has happened the other way around.

“Why? Why? Why? Delilah?”
Sorry, that just came out and yes, you are possibly now cursing me because, admit it, you sang that line…
Didn’t you?

Okay, seriously now, why, why, why, has body image become so important to the world? Who cares if you are overweight? Who cares if you look like a broom handle? Sadly most of the entire world does. Why? Because of the media. Because of the fashion industry. Because of close minded people.

London Andrews, for those that don’t know of her, is a plus size model who does glamour nude photos. Ms Andrews often ends up dealing with stupid closed minded individuals which, seems to be, part of the modelling industry. A while ago, London went on a small modelling trip and sadly had to endure an insensitive photographer during a shoot. She was once asked on her Tumblr blog about being comfortable in her own skin, her response was:

It is still hard being comfortable in my own skin… For example last night, my photographer kept saying things like, “Well it must be great being plus sized, you can eat all you want, huh?!” or “Wow. You sure know how to work the good parts when you have so many bad parts.” or “It is amazing how in some photos I take of you, you look so tiny and in other photos you look so HUGE!” or “Let’s face it. People hire you because your tits are so perfect, no one cares about anything else.”……

Can you imagine – Having someone say things like that to you – While you are naked…. and you have to stand there and act confident and finish taking photos for four hours? A lot of women that are curvy out there, have a good support system. You have friends and boyfriends and husbands that make you feel pretty and accepted and attractive (I have that too) – But whenever I travel and I run into photographers like last night… they shatter my safe-space and I just feel dumpy and unattractive and grossly overweight…..

Anyways – Back to what I was saying. Yes. Sometimes. It is very difficult for me to be comfortable in my own skin. But I make it work… I have to.*1

I’m sorry?
‘WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE’?
I don’t care if you’ve paid this lovely lady to take nude photos of her! That does not entitle you to belittle her and make fun of her body! There is a saying:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent*2.

This saying, of course, has been adapted over the years to ‘no one can degrade you without your consent’ and so forth and so on. Now, my interpretation of this saying when breaking it down, is that in the case above for London, it was her own consent to letting this photographer make her feel as she says ‘dumpy, unattractive and grossly’.

I SAY BULL SHIT!!!
Have you ever posed for four hours naked in front of someone? Well, neither have I and I wouldn’t subject anyone to that torture – even Hitler wasn’t that cruel. But, let’s be honest? How many of you could stand naked in front of someone while they basically tell you that you are fat and you only get hired for your tits and not feel the way London did? If any of you say you could, I openly here and now call you a liar and offer you one free photo session where I will degrade you while taking your photos – I’ll even throw in lunch for you. You probably wouldn’t even last an hour. Hell! I wouldn’t even last ten minutes.

Over the next 24 hours, London received numerous e-mails and messages basically bagging the shit out of the photographer. In response to someone commenting how appalled they were with the photographer, London responded with:

…This industry will never be perfect. A 120lb (54kg) model deals with body image just as much as a 220lb (99kg) girl…. Months ago, I had a photographer bashing on a tall skinny model that I have always looked up to… “She eats too much cheese! She has no tone anymore… everyone talks about it. No one wants to hire her” … Another photographer was bashing another one of my friends, “She is too skinny. She has eating issues. She looks gross. I won’t shoot her anymore.” – This industry IS image… It is narcissism… It is criticism…

All models deal with body issues…. They complain that their boobs are too big/too small. They have too much cellulite/too little tone/too much tone. They are not tall enough/not thin enough/too thin. They are too pale/too tan.

Obviously. yes – The photographer yesterday morning was rude and out-of-line. He put me in one of those moods that shut me down for a few hours….. but…. Would I work with him again? Yes. That is my job and it is what I get paid for…..

Just like Work anywhere….. some days are awesome. And some days are depressing and you wish you could have stayed home – But you need to be strong and do your absolute best. Even when things are getting you down.*3

Huge applause to London on her views and the fact she gets back up and battles on but the fact remains, she should not have been made to feel this way in the first place. I don’t care if this is a normal thing in the industry, it shouldn’t happen.

Also, it seems that body image is not just working on larger people but also the other end of the ‘scale’ and making skinny girls feel they need to be bigger.

Society has sadly made people feel that they have to look a certain way or be a certain size to be perfect.
You know what?
FUCK! THAT!
We, as a society, should be teaching our kids to be comfortable with whom they are, not how they look.

This body image crap has affected my own family. My dearest partner suffered low confidence due to her curvaceous, gorgeous body (well, that’s what I think and we have argued over it) but then I showed her London and seeing someone like London, getting out there and using her curvy body as a positive, my partner is getting her confidence back. Body image has caused problems with DD2 who is scared she will get fat so therefore doesn’t eat properly and when she comes to stay with us she is skin and bones. When I addressed my concerns about this with her mother (my ex) she simply said that DD2 was healthy and lucky to get her family’s skinny body (none of whom are actually skinny).

So, sadly, the body image is beginning at a young age. I guess it is something I will never understand myself.

So, who do we blame for this problem?
Let’s see – parents, doctors, parent groups, industries, the list could go on. That’s just to list a few.
Well, that is how I feel anyway.
Let me explain some of these thoughts.

Parents: Sadly, parents can be influenced by other parents, doctors, media and others, just like children are influenced. Some parents panic and overreact, so they encourage in their children that they have to be skinny to get anywhere in life. Also, the whole lead by example thingy comes in here. Parents diet because they feel fat, only eat salads because they don’t want to get bigger, stay away from chocolate in case it goes straight to the hips or ass, so the kids figure they should do the same. I’m sorry, but I am under the belief that no person under the age of 18 should diet unless under doctors’ orders for health reasons.

If we look at the situation I explained with my DD2 not only is it that she is afraid of getting fat but her mother doesn’t see there is a problem and encourages it because she doesn’t want her daughter to get fat.

Sadly, a prime example of parents being one of the causes.

Doctors and Health Professionals: (quick disclaimer: I am not putting all doctors and health professionals into this category, just some) Personally, these people should know better but they see someone on the larger size and just say they need to lose weight. My dear partner had a doctor tell her to simply stop eating and starve herself to lose weight because that will help her. She even had a chiropractor tell her if she lost weight, her Fibromyalgia would be gone. How that works, I don’t know because there are fibro sufferers who are a size 8 so it’s not a weight issue.

Our first appointment with the hospital during the pregnancy of DD3 was with a midwife who told my partner that because of her weight she was at a high risk of this and a high risk of that and we had to go to the hospital only during the pregnancy because they wouldn’t do shared care with our GP based purely on her weight. Strange thing was every doctor we saw during the pregnancy after her couldn’t understand why there was any concern.

No, I am not a doctor and I don’t have medical training but even I know it is not always possible for someone to lose weight. Some people are built bigger – end of story. Some people have problems where they can’t stop eating, maybe the doctors should look at that instead of simply telling the patient to lose weight.

Please, do not think that I am saying being overweight is okay and that doctors shouldn’t worry about peoples weight but guess what people, being too skinny is just as unhealthy. I am overweight according to all these BMI calculators and so forth but my issue is when a teenager goes into a doctor and according to a formula is classed as overweight or obese. First thing the doctor says is you need to lose weight because you’re obese. WHY? (Please do not bombard me telling me for health issues I get that) What I mean is, if said teenager is JUST inside the obese area and has been for say the past three years, not gaining weight and not losing weight, and apart from the slight weight issue is healthy in every other matter why are we telling a teenager they need to lose weight and giving them an added stress to their life?

Parent Groups: These people are possibly my most hated people in the world and not just over body image but let’s not go there or I’ll never finish this piece. They go on about our kids eating healthy, which I have no problems with but they take it to the extreme, trying to get all lollies banned in schools. Most of those people grew up with lollies in school. Don’t they say everything is okay in moderation? Where DS1 goes to school they still have chocolate on their canteen list and they even sell chocolate milk, heaven forbid, but they do limit the amount chocolates a student can buy at one time.

Don’t force onto children that they have to always eat healthy food, they are not rabbits. Don’t tell kid’s chocolate is bad, it’s not. While it’s not something you should eat all the time, every day, it’s not the end of the world if you eat some.

Fashion industries: Whilst lately it seems there is a bit more of plus size/ bigger fashion being introduced, the fashion industry to me is still one of, if not the biggest cause of this ‘body image’ problem. Clothing shops are where it starts, go have a look at the Supré website.
No wait!
Don’t because then you won’t be reading my blog…

Supré have 144 items available online, only 6, yes that is correct 6, items are XXL (18) and then that’s only tops. Also bear in mind that’s a regular 18, not a plus size 18. They target the skinnier teenagers.

Whilst not located physically in Australia, Abercrombie & Fitch would be one of the largest leaders of this body image problem. They do not stock XL or XXL clothing. Meaning that they only stock what those in Australia would know as a size 14 from Target, and why? (Please read the words ‘its wonderful’ in this next sentence with as much sarcasm as you can and then times that by ten) Due to its wonderful CEO.

The teen retailer doesn’t stock XL or XXL clothes for a reason. They don’t want overweight people wearing their brand. According to recent reports, they only want the “cool kids” to sport their polos and skinny jeans (pun not intended). According to Abercrombie’s marketing, fat kids aren’t cool.

In fact, in a 2006 interview with Salon, the man behind the brand, Mike Jeffries, said sex sells. And skinny people are sexy.

“That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores,” he said. “Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”*4

After doing some research on the CEO and the company I still can’t get my head around the thinking of him or the company. He said in one thing I read he only wants beautiful people wearing his clothes. Dude, come on you wear A&F clothes, you are over 60, (that is not saying over 60’s aren’t beautiful, I’m saying they shouldn’t wear clothes designed at a much younger market) you bleach your hair and you try to look like a teen model which is worrying after seeing some comparison pics where you look like Old Biff Tannen from “Back to the Future”.
Actually, that is an insult on old Biff.
My apologies Biff.

It is people like him that make teens think “I must be skinny to be beautiful and if you’re not then you’re fat and ugly and I’m going to bully you.”

Sadly at the end of the day the fashion industry is in my opinion responsible for 50% of this problem. Do I have facts to support this? Nope, because as I said – it is my opinion, which comes from seeing advertising, retailers and so forth.

(Another small disclaimer: In the next bit I use the word FAT. Here is the only part I apologise for offending you if I do. I DO NOT use the word fat in my everyday life to describe people and only use it here as a society label which I think is very wrong. Read on and I’m sure you will understand.)

Body image can cause mental problems which starts the viscous circle of health issues.

Depression from not fitting into the designer labels.
Depression from other kids taunting you and teasing you.
Depression because you’re fat which could also lead to health problems. You’re depressed because you’re fat, so you eat to get over the depression and become obese causing health issues or you’re depressed because you’re fat so you don’t eat at all to help lose weight but where does that stop? Next thing you know you’re not only a teenager suffering from depression because of bullying, taunting, feeling fat and so forth but you’re now in hospital hooked up to machines because you’re anorexic.

Guess what teenager (girls mainly it seems), you are well and truly screwed unless you can see past all the body image crap that is out there today. Be happy with WHO you are not what you look like. If you feel your overweight do some research, look into your BMI. I’d be willing to give odds of 2:1 that you aren’t overweight and if you are do more research or speak to some medical professional. You may find that whilst a BMI calculator says your overweight what it doesn’t tell you is what is healthy for YOUR body. I know a teenager who is classed as obese but I tell you right now she is so not obese and she is healthy and looks gorgeous no matter what.

Supposedly a friend of mine should lose around 40 kgs (88 lbs) according to her age, sex and height. I’m willing to bet that if she did get to the weight some stupid formula says she should be at she wouldn’t be very healthy no matter what doctors say.

Who has the right to tell you how you should look or what weight you should be? (with the exception when it concerns health matters) What gives anyone the right to judge someone because of their weight or their body? What gives us the right to tell another person that their body looks disgusting?

Society, we need to teach our children to be healthy and to be happy with WHO they are. End of story. No telling them they are getting a bit chubby, no telling them that that dress looks horrible because they may have put on some weight.
NO! JUST NO!

Tell your child to be healthy & to be proud of who they are.

Tell your friend they are gorgeous no matter what size they are (except if you have a serious concern about their health but then please have a nice bedside manner…)

If you see someone that is overweight don’t make a point of it.

If you see someone that is too skinny, don’t make a point of it.

With the exception of health and safety matters the size of a persons, height, waist, boobs, bum, hips, legs, (I could go on and on) DOES NOT MATTER!

People have enough stress in their life without worrying about how they look!!!

Thank you for your time you have been a wonderful audience.

Thank you, good luck and good night.

Logan Harris (just a person who hates the body image crisis)

*1 – http://londonandrews.tumblr.com/ Please note this page contains nudity
*2 – Eleanor Roosevelt
*3 – http://londonandrews.tumblr.com/ Please note this page contains nudity
*4 – http://fox4kc.com/2013/05/10/abercrombie-fitch-fat-ugly-people-shouldnt-buy-our-clothes/