WHY BULLYING WILL REMAIN FOR EVER

In late 2011, DD1 was threatened by a girl at her school via text message that she would kill her. This escalated into both DD1 and her friend being tormented on Facebook.

So, we decided on two paths, #1, we contacted the school and #2, we contacted the police.

This is how we get to why bullying will remain for ever…

The school’s approach was simple – let’s tell the bully we are going to the police (smart move people NOT!) This resulted in numerous phone calls and text messages of harassment to DD1, all of which were ignored) and lets suspend said bully for four days.

Yep, that’s going to teach them.

The police, on the other hand, finally decided to take it a bit more seriously and charged the bully. This was, of course, after the first response from the police woman was “oh, it’s just things said on Facebook” and then “oh, poor girl” because said bully is in DHS care.

It then took over six months to get to court and after the bully kept having it adjourned, it finally got wiped out of the courts and they were given a caution.
This, mind you, was now more than twelve months after the bullying first occurred.
Excuse me a minute.

BIG FUCKING WHOOPDY DOO DAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry back. Just needed to get that out of my system.
So, you think I feel this way because it was my daughter who was the victim?
Well, yes as would any of you, but the other reason is because it shows that bullying will remain for ever until they do something about the law.

So let’s look at both of these two paths separately.

The school/education system:
They are failing because they do not do anything about the problems when they arise.
They simply band aid the problem for a few days.
My example/s comes from my knowledge of the bully from the above mentioned incident.

That particular incident happened when this bully was in year 8 and she was simply suspended for four days.

Small bit of background – this bully has been suspended numerous times since grade six for bullying and violence.
That’s more than two years of repeated behaviour.
Keep that in mind for a little bit please.

Now, I understand that schools have guidelines they are supposed to follow but this bully is entering, at least, her third year of bullying and the guidelines just don’t seem to be doing the right job.
And sadly the schools just keep hiding behind their guidelines.

Let’s fast forward to 2012, the above mentioned bully hits another student over the head with a laptop.
Yes, you read right a laptop, which if I did that I could/ would be charged with assault with a weapon.
So what happens to this bully?
Suspended for a Friday and a Monday so she can go home and have a four day weekend and then she goes on Facebook and jokes all about it. and how cool the principal is and she thinks of him as an uncle.

It actually states on the Victorian Education Departments website, in their policy section, that the school is to report to the police any criminal act that a student may happen to undertake.
Strangely, this bully was never reported to the police for her assault.

But, wait, there is more.

A few months later the bully threatens to stab a friend of DD1 the following Monday when she gets to school and more bullying happens on Facebook which also ended up dragging DD1 into it.
So, now, we have me ripping shreds off the school for their lack of action.

One teacher informed me it wasn’t her job to talk to the bully because she wasn’t one of her students. I’m sorry you’re a teacher at the school aren’t you? Passing the buck perfectly if ever I heard it being done.

One of their suggestions was to move DD1 and her friend to another locker area so there was no interaction between them and the bully.

Yep, let’s treat the victims as the bully and make them move. Stupid theory really.

It wasn’t until I e-mailed the education department directly and copied in the school that the principal decided to ring me and have a meeting with me and explain their course of action (read lack of action).This was interesting because he hadn’t responded to my earlier e-mail regarding the matter. I was told that the school has no involvement in things that happen outside of school such as things said on Facebook unless it starts to impact things inside the school.

Well, I’m sorry; I think threatening to stab someone AT YOUR school may impact things in the school.
“Oh, we didn’t know about that Mr Harris.”
Strange considering DD1 and her friend informed their home teacher first thing Monday morning. Oh, that’s okay, that teacher didn’t think to mention that small (read big) fact to the principal. I’m sorry, regardless of if there is evidence or not (and yes they actually asked if there was evidence of this threat), the fact is – she threatened to stab someone, and especially with the history of threatening to kill DD1, this new threat should have been taken a bit more seriously and the principal should have been involved from the get go.

Okay, that paragraph could go on for ever with me bitching about the school and the poor excuse of people that run it but I’d be digressing too much.

So, my point is this – they have a known bully who keeps offending and has been for the three years she has been at that school and for at least a year previously and yet the school keeps failing to do anything about it.

What should they do?

I don’t know, I’m not a child behavioural expert but I do know they need to re-look at their policies on bullying because at the moment the bully gets away with whatever they like and the victims suffer. The education department and schools need to start taking some responsibility for the actions of students even outside of school. There is absolutely no deterrent. The one school having the same student being a bully and suspended numerous times for bullying and violence shows that there are major problems in the system that need to be addressed. Children and teens kill themselves over this topic, they become emotionless shells, they cut themselves etc., etc., etc.

The schools sadly have to take some of the responsibility here.

The Police/ Legal system:
This one could go on for ever too, so I’m going to try and make it shortish.
Again, look at the above mentioned bully.

Threatens to kill someone, has a history of violence and numerous suspensions for bullying and gets let off with a caution. Well done legal system of Australia!

People wonder what the world is coming to, when a – let’s say, 19yo – is in front of a judge because they have just beaten someone to an inch of their life?
Worse thing about it is that person was most likely in front of a judge when they were 14 for bullying someone and the judge said “well, you’re a young person, let’s just tell you not to do it again”.

Not only does the problem lie with the legal system but it also lies with the police.

(Small disclaimer: If any of you are police, I’m not attacking you personally but more the system.)

Sadly, it seems the police don’t take bullying seriously enough. As I mentioned before when we first went to the police one of the responses when we showed them the screen shots was simply “but it’s just stuff said by girls on Facebook.”
Are you serious?
Try telling that to the teenagers who killed themselves or to the parents whose son/ daughter just took their own life because of something said on Facebook.
I’m sure that will be a real comfort.

Words actually hurt more than hitting someone.

Bruises fade but emotional scaring lives with you for ever. The police need to start taking a stronger stance on bullying and treating it as a serious problem.

FOR FUCK SAKE, you are supposed to be upholding the law and protecting us. I’m sorry but even one teen suicide over bullying of any form is proof that you are failing in your job of protecting the community as a whole.

So like I said before I’m no expert, I don’t have all the answers but I do have my own thoughts on this.

~ Parents and Family:
We need to educate our children about bullying and how it is NOT okay.
Mind you, this really is something which should just happen with parenting.

~ Schools/ Education Department:
Pull your heads out of your arses and come join us in the real world. Punish the bully properly, change your out-dated and antiquated policies and take some responsibility for the problem.

Our children spend 14-15 years of their first 20 years of life in your care learning what you teach them. In fact you are probably more responsible for our children than we are if you work out the time frame, so yes, you should be punishing bullies when it happens outside of school. There should be no grey areas when it comes to bullying, it should be black and white, yes or no.

~Police:
Start doing your job and protect the public. Show that you take this problem seriously and respond accordingly.

~Legal System:
Don’t just think of these bullies as kids and give them a warning. Punish them accordingly. Make them do community service, make them pay a fine.
For Odin’s sake, give them a bloody deterrent!

~Finally, the lovely (read poor excuse on this topic) Government of Australia:
You are, at the end of the day responsible for three of the four things above.
Don’t just go on about how it is a problem. Do something about it.

What exactly? I don’t know but this is an issue that isn’t going to go away anytime soon. Something needs to be done and done quickly.

The fact that there are teens contemplating and acting upon suicidal thoughts and teens cutting themselves to make the pain caused from being bullied go away is, to me totally and extremely unacceptable.

Logan Harris (parent and general public member concerned about the worsening of bullying in today’s society)