HEROES AS OF TODAY

(Disclaimer: If anything in this post offends you I am not sorry for the simple fact that this blog is based purely on my opinion. Any advice that is somehow taken from this blog is done purely on your own accord as I do not see how anything I have put here is advice unless otherwise stated. Names contained in this blog may have been changed to pseudonyms to protect the innocent, guilty and everybody else.)

(Only one name has been changed in this blog and you should be able to work out which one.)

Two amputees, a godfather, two cartoon/ comic characters and a partridge in a pair tree. (Did you sing 12 Days of Christmas or at least that line as you read it?)

So, those of you who have read my previous entries will have read my last hero list. Well…times change and the people you admire change. In saying that, here is an update on my hero list.

Firstly, before I get into it, you will notice Scarlett is not on this one. She still is and always will be my #1 hero so I didn’t see the point in rehashing what I have said before, plus her ego doesn’t need more fuel for the fire.

Kristoff (from the Disney movie Frozen)
Now, usually I will explain why a particular person is my hero but for this one there is only one tiny word to explain it.

BECAUSE! Simple as that. I don’t care if you think I’m soppy or weird, Kristoff is possibly the best character Disney have ever made (except Donald Duck, NOTHING, I repeat NOTHING, will top Donald Duck).

Batman/ Bruce Wayne
In my personal opinion the whole concept of “Batman” is perfect. I saw a picture once somewhere, actually wait I will find it.

Pretty much sums it up. If I needed help I wouldn’t want a pansy like Superman coming to help me.

They say violence doesn’t solve anything. Those people have not seen a Batman movie or read a Batman comic or played a Batman game (highly recommend.) A billionaire that uses his wealth for good? What’s not to see that as heroic? One could go on and on but at the end of the day if you’re a batman fan you would understand. If you’re not, or you have no idea what I’m talking about, do yourself a favour and look into it. Watch a movie – I suggest the latest attempts, The Dark Knight series. Watch a cartoon, Batman – The Animated Series. Just get into it.

Josh Sunquist (Real Name)
For those of you that have never heard of Josh Sunquist, let me sum him up for you.

Josh lost his left leg at the age of nine to cancer. Since then he has gone on to be a part of the United States Paralympic Ski Team and raced in the IX Paralympic Games. Josh is the only person in history to ever be named to both the US Paralympic Ski Team and the US Amputee Soccer Team.

At the age of sixteen, he gave his first motivational talk and nowadays is one of Americas most recognised motivational speakers and his audiences include major corporations in America and have included The White House.

He is a successful publisher with his memoir book, “Just Don’t Fall: How I Grew Up, Conquered Illness, and Made it Down the Mountain, which was released in 2010 and became a national bestseller.

This man has overcome something that would possibly destroy most 9 year olds. He has gone onto to make a positive out of something that most people see as a negative. His slogan whilst ski racing was “1MT 1MT” which is “1 More Thing, 1 More Time”.

Josh is a hero to me simply because he didn’t give up.

Dusty (not from the MOH video game, although he is pretty awesome)
Okay, so if you read my piece on racism ages and ages ago you would know that DD3 has a South African godfather (the fact he is South African is totally irrelevant here), well, let me introduce you to Dusty.

Readers, Dusty.
Dusty, Readers.

This piece is going to be co-written by Scarlett (she doesn’t know yet) because it not only explains why he is one of my heroes but also why we are proud to call him not only DD3’s godfather but “The Godfather” to all of our children.

We both met Dusty one day before he turned 18. (he’s now 26).

Now, reason 1 of being my hero.

Dusty was born with a club foot (a fairly normal deformity as he put it).
When he was 3 months old he had it operated on and unfortunately they fucked it up (his words) and it led to problem after problem.
When he was 14 he was diagnosed with arthritis in his ankle (of the same foot).
I do remember when I met him he was helping me with a stage show and to be honest you wouldn’t really of known anything was wrong with him.

As time moved on it started to cause him pain and became a very large problem. Between the ages of 3 months and 26 years, he has had a total of 9 operations on his foot.
Number 9 being the most crucial one.

On October 14^th 2013, Dusty had the chop as I now call it, and had his left leg amputated just below the knee.
Why?
Because he wanted to.
Because at the age of 26, he can now start to live.

Dusty DECIDED to have his foot removed.
Yes, you read right, he decided to. Why? Only he will ever truly know and hey, one day I may convince him to write an entry into this blog, but looking in from the outside, he did it because his foot was not a foot. He has never had the proper use of his left foot. It has stopped him from doing a lot of things that some of us take for granted. He drove a modified car, he limped around a lot, it use to kill him when he would be over visiting and couldn’t run around after DD3 , his god daughter who he witnessed being born, when she wanted him to. He did it to start living. Living properly.

So has he achieved this? Well, yes and no.
He doesn’t have the problem of a useless foot on the bottom of his left leg, he doesn’t have the pain. Can he do things that he couldn’t before? NO.

Yes, that’s right, I said no and you’re probably sitting there going ‘what the fuck’. Don’t stress, it’s his own stupid fault and yes, I have been told his wonderful mother has hit him over the back of the head for it. When he was finally given his temporary prosthetic, he was told to take it easy and not use it to much.
Guess what?
He pushed himself and the wound is still not healing fully (5 months later) so he can’t wear the leg for long periods, if at all. But, on a side note, he has learnt patience which he didn’t have a lot of before.

He is still upbeat about it all and is still looking forward to life with his proper prosthetic, he just has to play the waiting game and as his family, we will support him through it all. As much as we can being 8 hours away.

He is my hero because he decided on his own to have his foot cut off, not something I could do and yes, I know that’s not really the same. He made a conscious decision to have a part of the body Odin gave to him removed. (yes, I’ll conceded that Odin can be a prick sometimes). On October 14, his life changed for ever and there is no going back. This is an irreversible operation people, you can’t just decide “nah fuck it, put my foot back on”. But you know what? Whilst his life has changed for ever, I personally see it as a good change for him and I can’t wait for the day he is outside playing comfortably with DD3, as I’m sure he can’t either.

So enough about his foot that no longer exists. The other reason he is my hero and why we are proud to not only know him but have him as a role figure for our children. Scarlett calls him her adult son (she would of been 7 when he was born). I consider him to be the brother I never had.

Dusty is one of the most giving and caring people I know. He is in Adelaide, 8 hours away, laid up, stuck at home (see previous paragraphs) yet he still worries about and checks up on Scarlett whilst she is pregnant, he always asks about the kids and how they are going at school. If he knows I’m having a shit day he will message me during the day and the day after to see how I’m doing and ask if there is anything he can do. This man is going through the frustration of a wound not healing and letting him get on with his life and learning to live with 1 leg, yet he still worries about us.

His parents should be proud of, not only him, but also the job they did of raising him. When we met him he was more mature than most 21 year olds I knew.

During the pregnancy of DD3 and the birth of DD3 he was a rock for both of us. If our children grow up to be even a third of the person Dusty is I will be extremely proud of them.

Scarlett here… :
How do I feel about the man we chose as Godfather to our children?

In awe.
Dusty is incredible – the things he does, the things he thinks, the things he desires. Incredible.
I’m not sure how we got so lucky to have such an inspiring and amazing man come into our lives but I will be forever grateful…

Why The Godfather?
Because I know our kids will have every experience and be loved as much as we could possibly love them if something unfortunate should happen.
In the meantime, they get someone incredibly strong and caring in their lives that they can turn to with anything and I know Dusty will give them 100%. They will learn so much about the world from him and I can’t wait to see how that influence comes to life inside our children.
As a side note – I will never regret the decision of having him at the birth of DD3. He was the most calming and confidence giving support person – I was so scared due to a bad birthing experience but absorbing his presence made giving birth easy and so incredibly calm with so much love in the room.

Logan Harris

THE PERFECT BODY??

(Disclaimer: Whilst I touch on the topic of doctors and health type stuff this particular piece is more about society’s issue of body image. It is my opinion of the fact that society is putting too much pressure on people, especially teenagers and children to, what a few select people think they should, look like. Oh and as per usual if I offend anyone, oh well, I’m not sorry because this is my opinion only)

Is there such a thing as the perfect body?
Beauty/perfection is in the eye of the beholder – so they say, and I suppose, they are correct in that statement. Things I think are good my partner thinks are crap. It’s happened in the past where I’ve made a comment about thinking someone is sexy and she tells me I’m blind. Same thing has happened the other way around.

“Why? Why? Why? Delilah?”
Sorry, that just came out and yes, you are possibly now cursing me because, admit it, you sang that line…
Didn’t you?

Okay, seriously now, why, why, why, has body image become so important to the world? Who cares if you are overweight? Who cares if you look like a broom handle? Sadly most of the entire world does. Why? Because of the media. Because of the fashion industry. Because of close minded people.

London Andrews, for those that don’t know of her, is a plus size model who does glamour nude photos. Ms Andrews often ends up dealing with stupid closed minded individuals which, seems to be, part of the modelling industry. A while ago, London went on a small modelling trip and sadly had to endure an insensitive photographer during a shoot. She was once asked on her Tumblr blog about being comfortable in her own skin, her response was:

It is still hard being comfortable in my own skin… For example last night, my photographer kept saying things like, “Well it must be great being plus sized, you can eat all you want, huh?!” or “Wow. You sure know how to work the good parts when you have so many bad parts.” or “It is amazing how in some photos I take of you, you look so tiny and in other photos you look so HUGE!” or “Let’s face it. People hire you because your tits are so perfect, no one cares about anything else.”……

Can you imagine – Having someone say things like that to you – While you are naked…. and you have to stand there and act confident and finish taking photos for four hours? A lot of women that are curvy out there, have a good support system. You have friends and boyfriends and husbands that make you feel pretty and accepted and attractive (I have that too) – But whenever I travel and I run into photographers like last night… they shatter my safe-space and I just feel dumpy and unattractive and grossly overweight…..

Anyways – Back to what I was saying. Yes. Sometimes. It is very difficult for me to be comfortable in my own skin. But I make it work… I have to.*1

I’m sorry?
‘WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE’?
I don’t care if you’ve paid this lovely lady to take nude photos of her! That does not entitle you to belittle her and make fun of her body! There is a saying:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent*2.

This saying, of course, has been adapted over the years to ‘no one can degrade you without your consent’ and so forth and so on. Now, my interpretation of this saying when breaking it down, is that in the case above for London, it was her own consent to letting this photographer make her feel as she says ‘dumpy, unattractive and grossly’.

I SAY BULL SHIT!!!
Have you ever posed for four hours naked in front of someone? Well, neither have I and I wouldn’t subject anyone to that torture – even Hitler wasn’t that cruel. But, let’s be honest? How many of you could stand naked in front of someone while they basically tell you that you are fat and you only get hired for your tits and not feel the way London did? If any of you say you could, I openly here and now call you a liar and offer you one free photo session where I will degrade you while taking your photos – I’ll even throw in lunch for you. You probably wouldn’t even last an hour. Hell! I wouldn’t even last ten minutes.

Over the next 24 hours, London received numerous e-mails and messages basically bagging the shit out of the photographer. In response to someone commenting how appalled they were with the photographer, London responded with:

…This industry will never be perfect. A 120lb (54kg) model deals with body image just as much as a 220lb (99kg) girl…. Months ago, I had a photographer bashing on a tall skinny model that I have always looked up to… “She eats too much cheese! She has no tone anymore… everyone talks about it. No one wants to hire her” … Another photographer was bashing another one of my friends, “She is too skinny. She has eating issues. She looks gross. I won’t shoot her anymore.” – This industry IS image… It is narcissism… It is criticism…

All models deal with body issues…. They complain that their boobs are too big/too small. They have too much cellulite/too little tone/too much tone. They are not tall enough/not thin enough/too thin. They are too pale/too tan.

Obviously. yes – The photographer yesterday morning was rude and out-of-line. He put me in one of those moods that shut me down for a few hours….. but…. Would I work with him again? Yes. That is my job and it is what I get paid for…..

Just like Work anywhere….. some days are awesome. And some days are depressing and you wish you could have stayed home – But you need to be strong and do your absolute best. Even when things are getting you down.*3

Huge applause to London on her views and the fact she gets back up and battles on but the fact remains, she should not have been made to feel this way in the first place. I don’t care if this is a normal thing in the industry, it shouldn’t happen.

Also, it seems that body image is not just working on larger people but also the other end of the ‘scale’ and making skinny girls feel they need to be bigger.

Society has sadly made people feel that they have to look a certain way or be a certain size to be perfect.
You know what?
FUCK! THAT!
We, as a society, should be teaching our kids to be comfortable with whom they are, not how they look.

This body image crap has affected my own family. My dearest partner suffered low confidence due to her curvaceous, gorgeous body (well, that’s what I think and we have argued over it) but then I showed her London and seeing someone like London, getting out there and using her curvy body as a positive, my partner is getting her confidence back. Body image has caused problems with DD2 who is scared she will get fat so therefore doesn’t eat properly and when she comes to stay with us she is skin and bones. When I addressed my concerns about this with her mother (my ex) she simply said that DD2 was healthy and lucky to get her family’s skinny body (none of whom are actually skinny).

So, sadly, the body image is beginning at a young age. I guess it is something I will never understand myself.

So, who do we blame for this problem?
Let’s see – parents, doctors, parent groups, industries, the list could go on. That’s just to list a few.
Well, that is how I feel anyway.
Let me explain some of these thoughts.

Parents: Sadly, parents can be influenced by other parents, doctors, media and others, just like children are influenced. Some parents panic and overreact, so they encourage in their children that they have to be skinny to get anywhere in life. Also, the whole lead by example thingy comes in here. Parents diet because they feel fat, only eat salads because they don’t want to get bigger, stay away from chocolate in case it goes straight to the hips or ass, so the kids figure they should do the same. I’m sorry, but I am under the belief that no person under the age of 18 should diet unless under doctors’ orders for health reasons.

If we look at the situation I explained with my DD2 not only is it that she is afraid of getting fat but her mother doesn’t see there is a problem and encourages it because she doesn’t want her daughter to get fat.

Sadly, a prime example of parents being one of the causes.

Doctors and Health Professionals: (quick disclaimer: I am not putting all doctors and health professionals into this category, just some) Personally, these people should know better but they see someone on the larger size and just say they need to lose weight. My dear partner had a doctor tell her to simply stop eating and starve herself to lose weight because that will help her. She even had a chiropractor tell her if she lost weight, her Fibromyalgia would be gone. How that works, I don’t know because there are fibro sufferers who are a size 8 so it’s not a weight issue.

Our first appointment with the hospital during the pregnancy of DD3 was with a midwife who told my partner that because of her weight she was at a high risk of this and a high risk of that and we had to go to the hospital only during the pregnancy because they wouldn’t do shared care with our GP based purely on her weight. Strange thing was every doctor we saw during the pregnancy after her couldn’t understand why there was any concern.

No, I am not a doctor and I don’t have medical training but even I know it is not always possible for someone to lose weight. Some people are built bigger – end of story. Some people have problems where they can’t stop eating, maybe the doctors should look at that instead of simply telling the patient to lose weight.

Please, do not think that I am saying being overweight is okay and that doctors shouldn’t worry about peoples weight but guess what people, being too skinny is just as unhealthy. I am overweight according to all these BMI calculators and so forth but my issue is when a teenager goes into a doctor and according to a formula is classed as overweight or obese. First thing the doctor says is you need to lose weight because you’re obese. WHY? (Please do not bombard me telling me for health issues I get that) What I mean is, if said teenager is JUST inside the obese area and has been for say the past three years, not gaining weight and not losing weight, and apart from the slight weight issue is healthy in every other matter why are we telling a teenager they need to lose weight and giving them an added stress to their life?

Parent Groups: These people are possibly my most hated people in the world and not just over body image but let’s not go there or I’ll never finish this piece. They go on about our kids eating healthy, which I have no problems with but they take it to the extreme, trying to get all lollies banned in schools. Most of those people grew up with lollies in school. Don’t they say everything is okay in moderation? Where DS1 goes to school they still have chocolate on their canteen list and they even sell chocolate milk, heaven forbid, but they do limit the amount chocolates a student can buy at one time.

Don’t force onto children that they have to always eat healthy food, they are not rabbits. Don’t tell kid’s chocolate is bad, it’s not. While it’s not something you should eat all the time, every day, it’s not the end of the world if you eat some.

Fashion industries: Whilst lately it seems there is a bit more of plus size/ bigger fashion being introduced, the fashion industry to me is still one of, if not the biggest cause of this ‘body image’ problem. Clothing shops are where it starts, go have a look at the Supré website.
No wait!
Don’t because then you won’t be reading my blog…

Supré have 144 items available online, only 6, yes that is correct 6, items are XXL (18) and then that’s only tops. Also bear in mind that’s a regular 18, not a plus size 18. They target the skinnier teenagers.

Whilst not located physically in Australia, Abercrombie & Fitch would be one of the largest leaders of this body image problem. They do not stock XL or XXL clothing. Meaning that they only stock what those in Australia would know as a size 14 from Target, and why? (Please read the words ‘its wonderful’ in this next sentence with as much sarcasm as you can and then times that by ten) Due to its wonderful CEO.

The teen retailer doesn’t stock XL or XXL clothes for a reason. They don’t want overweight people wearing their brand. According to recent reports, they only want the “cool kids” to sport their polos and skinny jeans (pun not intended). According to Abercrombie’s marketing, fat kids aren’t cool.

In fact, in a 2006 interview with Salon, the man behind the brand, Mike Jeffries, said sex sells. And skinny people are sexy.

“That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores,” he said. “Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”*4

After doing some research on the CEO and the company I still can’t get my head around the thinking of him or the company. He said in one thing I read he only wants beautiful people wearing his clothes. Dude, come on you wear A&F clothes, you are over 60, (that is not saying over 60’s aren’t beautiful, I’m saying they shouldn’t wear clothes designed at a much younger market) you bleach your hair and you try to look like a teen model which is worrying after seeing some comparison pics where you look like Old Biff Tannen from “Back to the Future”.
Actually, that is an insult on old Biff.
My apologies Biff.

It is people like him that make teens think “I must be skinny to be beautiful and if you’re not then you’re fat and ugly and I’m going to bully you.”

Sadly at the end of the day the fashion industry is in my opinion responsible for 50% of this problem. Do I have facts to support this? Nope, because as I said – it is my opinion, which comes from seeing advertising, retailers and so forth.

(Another small disclaimer: In the next bit I use the word FAT. Here is the only part I apologise for offending you if I do. I DO NOT use the word fat in my everyday life to describe people and only use it here as a society label which I think is very wrong. Read on and I’m sure you will understand.)

Body image can cause mental problems which starts the viscous circle of health issues.

Depression from not fitting into the designer labels.
Depression from other kids taunting you and teasing you.
Depression because you’re fat which could also lead to health problems. You’re depressed because you’re fat, so you eat to get over the depression and become obese causing health issues or you’re depressed because you’re fat so you don’t eat at all to help lose weight but where does that stop? Next thing you know you’re not only a teenager suffering from depression because of bullying, taunting, feeling fat and so forth but you’re now in hospital hooked up to machines because you’re anorexic.

Guess what teenager (girls mainly it seems), you are well and truly screwed unless you can see past all the body image crap that is out there today. Be happy with WHO you are not what you look like. If you feel your overweight do some research, look into your BMI. I’d be willing to give odds of 2:1 that you aren’t overweight and if you are do more research or speak to some medical professional. You may find that whilst a BMI calculator says your overweight what it doesn’t tell you is what is healthy for YOUR body. I know a teenager who is classed as obese but I tell you right now she is so not obese and she is healthy and looks gorgeous no matter what.

Supposedly a friend of mine should lose around 40 kgs (88 lbs) according to her age, sex and height. I’m willing to bet that if she did get to the weight some stupid formula says she should be at she wouldn’t be very healthy no matter what doctors say.

Who has the right to tell you how you should look or what weight you should be? (with the exception when it concerns health matters) What gives anyone the right to judge someone because of their weight or their body? What gives us the right to tell another person that their body looks disgusting?

Society, we need to teach our children to be healthy and to be happy with WHO they are. End of story. No telling them they are getting a bit chubby, no telling them that that dress looks horrible because they may have put on some weight.
NO! JUST NO!

Tell your child to be healthy & to be proud of who they are.

Tell your friend they are gorgeous no matter what size they are (except if you have a serious concern about their health but then please have a nice bedside manner…)

If you see someone that is overweight don’t make a point of it.

If you see someone that is too skinny, don’t make a point of it.

With the exception of health and safety matters the size of a persons, height, waist, boobs, bum, hips, legs, (I could go on and on) DOES NOT MATTER!

People have enough stress in their life without worrying about how they look!!!

Thank you for your time you have been a wonderful audience.

Thank you, good luck and good night.

Logan Harris (just a person who hates the body image crisis)

*1 – http://londonandrews.tumblr.com/ Please note this page contains nudity
*2 – Eleanor Roosevelt
*3 – http://londonandrews.tumblr.com/ Please note this page contains nudity
*4 – http://fox4kc.com/2013/05/10/abercrombie-fitch-fat-ugly-people-shouldnt-buy-our-clothes/

AUSTRALIA WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

(Disclaimer: Today’s blog is co written by Cam Mitchell (and he didn’t even know at the time.))

So Australia has a new Prime Minister, all I can say now is Odin help us.

What the hell were people thinking Saturday? Or is it more the fact that they weren’t thinking.

I know Rudd wasn’t all that good a choice either but who in their right mind voted for the budgie smuggler wearing fuckwit Abbott?

I am the first to admit I don’t follow the politics as closely as I probably should, so a lot of you will now be saying, well in that case how can you justify saying all this and passing judgement. Well I can because, one I voted which in a sense gives me the right, and two I’m educated and I read stuff so I can work out when we’re in for a crappy time with the poor excuse of a man leading our country.

The following few bits were written by Cam Mitchell and posted as his status on Facebook:

———-
My heart sinks today.

Truly a bad choice for Australia and it’s friends.

Here’s why I’m so passionately opposed to our prime minister elect and the LNP:

I still haven’t really heard any actual policies (even if I like or dislike them).

They want to deliver a national broadband network that will see fibre to the node, then you’ll get your Internet down copper. Some of that copper has been in houses for 60+ years.

Cutting foreign aid by 4.5 billion. This is simply appealing to the selfish people of one of the most prosperous nations in the world. We have a responsibility to help. God help us all if Australia finds itself in crisis and those we cut aid to are in a position to help.

Cutting the carbon price. This is just crazy. Climate change deniers in government. Thanks guys. Makes about as much sense as the sun revolving around the earth.

Turning back boats. To be fair I loathe both major parties policy on this. But if I hear “stop the boats” one more time I’m going to scream. Besides, they won’t stop the boats. Howard only did it because there were a tenth of the wars going on in the world back then, and he still got people killed.

Marriage inequality. WHY ARE WE STILL EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?!?! Person a loves person b. done. They marry and hurt no one ever. Well, no more than heterosexual couples. Makes me mad.

The deficit/surplus discussion. I’ve said it before, but you need to spend when you’re rich. And Australia is rich. As my brother Andrew, perfectly (sarcastically) put it: “times are tough. Man, I can only afford ONE carton of imported craft beer today”. Look at Europe. AUSTERITY IS NOT THE ANSWER. I’ll leave the minor detail to folks like Martin, to explain much more eloquently than I ever could. Australia has some of (if not) the best quality of life in the world. As Ben put it: if you think it’s been tough for the last 6 years, you’re in for a bloody rude shock.

Abbott is anti abortion. We need safe environments for women to make the toughest choices, not the backyard of some unlicensed dodgy doctor.

Massive cuts to indigenous legal aid. If you need me to even go into why this is just wrong, then I don’t think you’ll ever understand.

The list goes on and on and on. And will for 3 years.

I feel people voted for selfish reasons, thinking govt debt is like personal debt, and thinking refugees are a threat.

Labor, you didn’t really help with your pandering to votes in your refugee policy and trying to play against the right wing with right wing tactics.

I’m so disappointed for our future. This man will bring us back to the 50s, where the rich get richer and the country gets whiter. He will embarrass us internationally, and scarily will lead the party that will have the president of the United Nations security council when this Syria thing goes down.

I really hope Australia learns from this, or that the LNP are not what I think they are. Because I don’t think I can bear the thought of a country voting for those ideas.

Fuck.

——

Nicely put Mr Mitchell. Who incidentally said earlier today that he won’t be back from the UK until to quote “… you politically burn that waste of oxygen; Tony Abbott.” Huge fan of your work Cam.

I don’t have millions and millions of friends on Facebook (thank Odin) but not one of them has ever said anything positive about Tony Abbott or the Coalition, and some of them in turn have been claiming the same thing about their friends list. So my question is where are all the Tony Abbott lovers? Seriously by degrees of separation I’m yet to find a Liberal supporter.

I could go on about the things that bug me about the coalition but Cam pretty much covered it all in his writings.

People’s of Australia, I am now seriously questioning the sanity of this country. All we can hope is that in the next three years at least, that we learn from our mistake and that the ALP can get a decent leader and become a more stable party than they have been of late.

I can’t even find words to describe the poor excuse of a man that is now the international figure head for this country.

Now aside from all the political stuff I can simply not respect a man that, at the time was wanting to become Prime Minister not only goes out in public in Speedo’s but allows himself to be photographed. Speedo’s should only been worn, in my opinion, by swimmers for competition swimming, not for leisure.

I hope you can all sleep well.

Logan Harris (not a fan of the budgie smuggling Tony Wanker Abbott)

WHY BULLYING WILL REMAIN FOR EVER

In late 2011, DD1 was threatened by a girl at her school via text message that she would kill her. This escalated into both DD1 and her friend being tormented on Facebook.

So, we decided on two paths, #1, we contacted the school and #2, we contacted the police.

This is how we get to why bullying will remain for ever…

The school’s approach was simple – let’s tell the bully we are going to the police (smart move people NOT!) This resulted in numerous phone calls and text messages of harassment to DD1, all of which were ignored) and lets suspend said bully for four days.

Yep, that’s going to teach them.

The police, on the other hand, finally decided to take it a bit more seriously and charged the bully. This was, of course, after the first response from the police woman was “oh, it’s just things said on Facebook” and then “oh, poor girl” because said bully is in DHS care.

It then took over six months to get to court and after the bully kept having it adjourned, it finally got wiped out of the courts and they were given a caution.
This, mind you, was now more than twelve months after the bullying first occurred.
Excuse me a minute.

BIG FUCKING WHOOPDY DOO DAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry back. Just needed to get that out of my system.
So, you think I feel this way because it was my daughter who was the victim?
Well, yes as would any of you, but the other reason is because it shows that bullying will remain for ever until they do something about the law.

So let’s look at both of these two paths separately.

The school/education system:
They are failing because they do not do anything about the problems when they arise.
They simply band aid the problem for a few days.
My example/s comes from my knowledge of the bully from the above mentioned incident.

That particular incident happened when this bully was in year 8 and she was simply suspended for four days.

Small bit of background – this bully has been suspended numerous times since grade six for bullying and violence.
That’s more than two years of repeated behaviour.
Keep that in mind for a little bit please.

Now, I understand that schools have guidelines they are supposed to follow but this bully is entering, at least, her third year of bullying and the guidelines just don’t seem to be doing the right job.
And sadly the schools just keep hiding behind their guidelines.

Let’s fast forward to 2012, the above mentioned bully hits another student over the head with a laptop.
Yes, you read right a laptop, which if I did that I could/ would be charged with assault with a weapon.
So what happens to this bully?
Suspended for a Friday and a Monday so she can go home and have a four day weekend and then she goes on Facebook and jokes all about it. and how cool the principal is and she thinks of him as an uncle.

It actually states on the Victorian Education Departments website, in their policy section, that the school is to report to the police any criminal act that a student may happen to undertake.
Strangely, this bully was never reported to the police for her assault.

But, wait, there is more.

A few months later the bully threatens to stab a friend of DD1 the following Monday when she gets to school and more bullying happens on Facebook which also ended up dragging DD1 into it.
So, now, we have me ripping shreds off the school for their lack of action.

One teacher informed me it wasn’t her job to talk to the bully because she wasn’t one of her students. I’m sorry you’re a teacher at the school aren’t you? Passing the buck perfectly if ever I heard it being done.

One of their suggestions was to move DD1 and her friend to another locker area so there was no interaction between them and the bully.

Yep, let’s treat the victims as the bully and make them move. Stupid theory really.

It wasn’t until I e-mailed the education department directly and copied in the school that the principal decided to ring me and have a meeting with me and explain their course of action (read lack of action).This was interesting because he hadn’t responded to my earlier e-mail regarding the matter. I was told that the school has no involvement in things that happen outside of school such as things said on Facebook unless it starts to impact things inside the school.

Well, I’m sorry; I think threatening to stab someone AT YOUR school may impact things in the school.
“Oh, we didn’t know about that Mr Harris.”
Strange considering DD1 and her friend informed their home teacher first thing Monday morning. Oh, that’s okay, that teacher didn’t think to mention that small (read big) fact to the principal. I’m sorry, regardless of if there is evidence or not (and yes they actually asked if there was evidence of this threat), the fact is – she threatened to stab someone, and especially with the history of threatening to kill DD1, this new threat should have been taken a bit more seriously and the principal should have been involved from the get go.

Okay, that paragraph could go on for ever with me bitching about the school and the poor excuse of people that run it but I’d be digressing too much.

So, my point is this – they have a known bully who keeps offending and has been for the three years she has been at that school and for at least a year previously and yet the school keeps failing to do anything about it.

What should they do?

I don’t know, I’m not a child behavioural expert but I do know they need to re-look at their policies on bullying because at the moment the bully gets away with whatever they like and the victims suffer. The education department and schools need to start taking some responsibility for the actions of students even outside of school. There is absolutely no deterrent. The one school having the same student being a bully and suspended numerous times for bullying and violence shows that there are major problems in the system that need to be addressed. Children and teens kill themselves over this topic, they become emotionless shells, they cut themselves etc., etc., etc.

The schools sadly have to take some of the responsibility here.

The Police/ Legal system:
This one could go on for ever too, so I’m going to try and make it shortish.
Again, look at the above mentioned bully.

Threatens to kill someone, has a history of violence and numerous suspensions for bullying and gets let off with a caution. Well done legal system of Australia!

People wonder what the world is coming to, when a – let’s say, 19yo – is in front of a judge because they have just beaten someone to an inch of their life?
Worse thing about it is that person was most likely in front of a judge when they were 14 for bullying someone and the judge said “well, you’re a young person, let’s just tell you not to do it again”.

Not only does the problem lie with the legal system but it also lies with the police.

(Small disclaimer: If any of you are police, I’m not attacking you personally but more the system.)

Sadly, it seems the police don’t take bullying seriously enough. As I mentioned before when we first went to the police one of the responses when we showed them the screen shots was simply “but it’s just stuff said by girls on Facebook.”
Are you serious?
Try telling that to the teenagers who killed themselves or to the parents whose son/ daughter just took their own life because of something said on Facebook.
I’m sure that will be a real comfort.

Words actually hurt more than hitting someone.

Bruises fade but emotional scaring lives with you for ever. The police need to start taking a stronger stance on bullying and treating it as a serious problem.

FOR FUCK SAKE, you are supposed to be upholding the law and protecting us. I’m sorry but even one teen suicide over bullying of any form is proof that you are failing in your job of protecting the community as a whole.

So like I said before I’m no expert, I don’t have all the answers but I do have my own thoughts on this.

~ Parents and Family:
We need to educate our children about bullying and how it is NOT okay.
Mind you, this really is something which should just happen with parenting.

~ Schools/ Education Department:
Pull your heads out of your arses and come join us in the real world. Punish the bully properly, change your out-dated and antiquated policies and take some responsibility for the problem.

Our children spend 14-15 years of their first 20 years of life in your care learning what you teach them. In fact you are probably more responsible for our children than we are if you work out the time frame, so yes, you should be punishing bullies when it happens outside of school. There should be no grey areas when it comes to bullying, it should be black and white, yes or no.

~Police:
Start doing your job and protect the public. Show that you take this problem seriously and respond accordingly.

~Legal System:
Don’t just think of these bullies as kids and give them a warning. Punish them accordingly. Make them do community service, make them pay a fine.
For Odin’s sake, give them a bloody deterrent!

~Finally, the lovely (read poor excuse on this topic) Government of Australia:
You are, at the end of the day responsible for three of the four things above.
Don’t just go on about how it is a problem. Do something about it.

What exactly? I don’t know but this is an issue that isn’t going to go away anytime soon. Something needs to be done and done quickly.

The fact that there are teens contemplating and acting upon suicidal thoughts and teens cutting themselves to make the pain caused from being bullied go away is, to me totally and extremely unacceptable.

Logan Harris (parent and general public member concerned about the worsening of bullying in today’s society)

NO GAYS IN SPORT. . . WHAT THE FUCK?

For those of you who know me, you will know I am a fan of the San Francisco 49ers of the NFL in America and have been for many years now.
For those of you who don’t know me, well, I am a fan of the San Francisco 49ers of the NFL in America.
Except we won’t talk about the Super Bowl XLVII.

Anyways, as I stated, fan of the 49ers and all of the players except one.

Chris Culliver, the now famous, for the wrong reasons, corner-back of the 49ers.
Why the wrong reasons?
Simple, during Super Bowl week, this moronic fool made the following statement:

I don’t do the gay guys man, I don’t do that. No, we don’t got no gay people on the team, they gotta get up out of here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff. Nah…can’t be…in the locker room man. Nah.” when asked “How would an openly gay NFL player be accepted in the locker room?”*1

So my thoughts? You homophobic, motherfuckin’ tittysuckin’ two-balled bitch.*2 Would you like to step out of the dark dark ages and join us in the present day?

He then comes out the next day with the following:

The derogatory comments I made yesterday were a reflection of thoughts in my head, but they are not how I feel. It has taken me seeing them in print to realize that they are hurtful and ugly. Those discriminating feelings are truly not in my heart. Further, I apologize to those who I have hurt and offended, and I pledge to learn and grow from this experience.*3

I’m sorry, what the?

Not how you feel? Really? They must be otherwise you wouldn’t of said them.

The 49ers immediately went into damage control and released a statement saying:

The San Francisco 49ers reject the comments that were made yesterday, and have addressed the matter with Chris. There is no place for discrimination within our organization at any level. We have and always will proudly support the LGBT community.*4

Well done them.
As far as Chris’ apology, too little too late if you ask me.

He is also now doing sensitivity training with ‘The Trevor Project’ (The Trevor Project is a leading American organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth.)

So the question is – is he truly sorry for the comments or is the apology and the sensitivity training just something his publicist, the team or the NFL even are making him do as damage control?

Either way the comments were made and they are out there. I don’t believe anything he does now is going to change the public’s opinion of him.

What I find sad is that he is a black American and surely he has suffered, at some point in his life, some discrimination.

So, for lack of better words, he should have known better.

If you search his name on Google, you will come up with articles describing what he said and damning him for it and articles defending him and blaming people behind him for not preparing him better for a media day in Super Bowl week, saying he thought it was a joke and so forth and so forth – the fact is, he has said these comments and just pushed Gay and Lesbian rights backwards yet again.

When you are in the public eye you cannot go about making these sorts of statements.

So enough about Chris himself – should gay men be allowed to play male dominated sports?
Yes, of course they should!
Why shouldn’t they?

Should lesbians be allowed to play women dominated sports?
Again, yes, they should.

Seriously, what is wrong with this world? In today’s age we need to be more accepting of everyone regardless of which side they play for.
So, are we all of a sudden worried that a gay man might check you out in the locker room while you’re showering?
Get over yourself; you may not even be appealing to him.
I’m not gay but I will assume the thought process of a homosexual person is the same as a heterosexual person.
Meaning, just like me not being aroused by every woman I see, a gay man is not going to be aroused by or check out every single male. Get over yourself, your not Odin’s gift to women let alone men.

Why should someone be told they can’t play a sport simply because they like the same sex?

Seriously, we live in the 21st century. A gay person should have exactly the same rights as a non-gay person. Personally, if someone didn’t want a gay player on their team then maybe they should leave the team…

Regardless of sports, we need to move beyond the line that separates homosexual and heterosexual.

I know a few gay people, most of whom you wouldn’t even pick as being gay and to be perfectly honest, I find they are more forgiving than most other people. I guess they have to be, to deal with the amount of discrimination in this world towards them. Their sexuality hasn’t changed them as a person, a friend or family member – so why should our attitudes change towards them simply because they prefer the same sex???

History shows us that this form of discrimination is not suitable in today’s age – look at the whole women’s movements where women wanted equal rights? Try that today and I think you would be shot. Slavery and racism? Same thing – not acceptable and seen as a horrid thing of the past.

So why the hell is the discrimination of gay and lesbian people acceptable today?

Why is there even a debate about gay marriage?

Why does a football player feel the need to make comments about not accepting someone who is openly gay onto the team? These are no brainers really and shouldn’t even be issues.

Sadly though, even if the world as a whole accepted gay marriage, gay’s playing football etc., etc., there will still be the small bunch of ignorant asshats who think –

• women belong pregnant, barefoot and naked in the kitchen,
• there should be a nigga out in the field picking cotton,
• Australia should be damned to hell for having a female Prime Minister,
• and the likes of Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge should be burnt alive or sent to a mental asylum for being openly gay (yes, that used to happen!).

Last time I checked, and this is based on the gay people I know, they are human beings first and foremost.

Anti-Gay people, grow up and join us in the real world please.

It’s really not that scary.

Logan Harris (friend of gay people)

*1, 3, 4 – http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/01/31/san-francisco-49ers-cornerback-chris-culliver-apologizes-after-anti-gay-statements/
*2 – Quote from Agent Zoil in the movie Paul

HELP I’VE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH FIBROMYALGIA!

My life changed when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. The sweats, the pain, the restless legs etc. etc. My social life changed, I’ve had to set alarms on my phone to remind me about medication, I have a lot more visits to the doctor and recently a chiropractor.

Those of you who know me or have read my previous blogs are either going, “oh crap not you too”, considering my partner has it or you’re just wondering what the hell I’m going on about.

Well, I suffer Fibromyalgia but I’m one of the lucky ones- I don’t have the pains and physical symptoms in my body.

What do I mean?

It’s very simple really. The day Scarlet was diagnosed with Fibro is the day OUR lives changed forever. (insert dramatic background music) I may not suffer the pain she suffers but if I could instead of her I would, but the other side effects and symptoms affect me due to the fact I’m (hopefully) being a supportive partner.

How so you may ask?

Well, let me answer the questions I have previously asked Fibro suffers. (Getting to the blog about those answers soon I hope.)

Questions:
Name: Logan
Sex: Male
Age: 37
Where do you live: Melbourne, Australia
When were you diagnosed: Mid 2012
Biggest emotional battle: Not spending lots of time with my partner and family as a family
Biggest change in your life since being diagnosed: Not doing as much as a family
Do you work? If so, what do you do and has Fibro impacted it in anyway: Carer for my partner
If you worked and had to leave due to Fibro, what did you do: Was doing office admin and left to be partner’s carer
One word that you associate with Fibro: EVIL
Briefly, please explain how your life has changed since being diagnosed: our relationship at the start (but it is, I believe, now stronger), social life, time with kids as a family and our family outings we use to do, sex life
(Now for those that answered those questions are most likely saying “but there were more”. Yes but they didn’t relate to me because they were related to pain and other physical symptoms mostly.)

Fibromyalgia doesn’t just affect those who have it but sadly it affects all those around them. Our children have suffered not having their mum being able to do things with them as easily as she used to be able to.

Some of the e-mails I received from my questions mentioned: partners leaving, partners having breakdowns, children not understanding.

Personally, my anger problem has gotten worse, my patience gets very low at times, my depression got worse. My relationship with Scarlett and my kids gets strained at times and I’m sure both Scarlett and myself, have at times, both thought we’d be better off without the other. Scarlett has a few times said she would understand if I wanted out as she didn’t think it was fair that this was the rest of my life. As I have numerous times told her, NO, NO, NO NO,NO!

We were both dealt this card. Just sadly she got the worst bit with the pain and the suffering. But I love her and I’m not going to let it come between us. Thankfully for all involved, Scarlett’s brother found something for me to do which gets me out of the house for a few hours that I strangely find therapeutic. This has certainly helped a lot with my mood.

So how do I handle all this? To be honest, I actually don’t know. There are days that I struggle, days that I’m sure I piss everyone off around me.

This is not a dig at those that do suffer Fibromyalgia, but please understand those that support you need some support back. Whilst you suffer more so, Fibro has an effect on those around you.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact I love Scarlett more than life itself and my family means more to me than anything else in this world, I probably would of left months ago. Seeing my future wife go through the pain she does, breaks my heart – especially seeing as there is nothing I can do to make it all go away. It breaks my heart when DD3 gets upset because she doesn’t understand that mummy can’t do what she wants. The past 9 months have possibly been the most emotional I have suffered in my life and that includes my first marriage break up and the mental breakdown I suffered. I will survive though because I have the support of Scarlett and my family…

Peoples, I understand that you are suffering an illness that has no cure and it affects every person differently but you are not alone. This illness affects your loved ones as well and they also need emotional and physical support.

Help each other and you might find that you all cope a little bit better.

Logan Harris (fibro sufferer without the pain)

FIBROMYALGIA THE STAGE PLAY

You’re probably sitting there wondering what the hell I’m going on about with the title. Well just read on and hopefully you will understand.

On stage is, for the ease of no scene changes or the likes, a bedroom, plain and simple but for my partners sake we’ll say the bedding is bright pink. The roles are as follows:

Balance Problem – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Brain Fogginess – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Digestive Disorders – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Fatigue – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Flares – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Headache/migraine – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
IBS – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Itchy/burning Skin – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Morning Stiffness – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Muscle Cramping – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Muscle Knots – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Muscle Weakness – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Pain all over – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Restless Legs – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Sleep Difficulties – Fibromyalgia aka Scarlett
Caring – Me
Consideration – Me
Loving – Me
Masseuse – Me
Patience – Me
Understanding – Me
CURE – Not cast as of yet

Yes, poor Scarlett, has to play many roles and sadly this is what comes with Fibro, but she does have one easy part in this play, she simply stays on the stage for the duration of the play, yes, I can hear you all saying if only that were real. Sadly, people with fibro also have to be parents, partners, employees, and so on and so on which obviously makes it harder for them but also the roles played by me (or significant other) all the more important.

My roles, mind you, involve mad dashing side stage to do quick costume changes and because of society and the fact males are always seemed to be not loving, the role of loving was cast as a woman so that costume change involves a dress, heels and padding out a bra, (no this doesn’t really happen in our house) oh and seeing as I’m bald we better throw in a wig for good measure.

So why a play you ask? Two reasons, my love of theatre and secondly because when you think about it, looking at the roles above are pretty much those that are played out in real life. The roles played by myself are just some of those needed when you love someone that suffers Fibro. I will be the first to admit that I have never ever been on the stage myself and that in this play I’m not very good at these roles. YET! The fact I love my partner more than anything in this world is reason enough that I’m going to keep working my butt off to perfect these roles into “Tony Award” winning roles.

Sadly there is a problem to this play that the writer (read Odin) didn’t think of. Due to the fact he stupidly forgot to cast the role of CURE, it’s not a very short play. In fact some people won’t even stay till the end because it’s not a simple case of two one hour acts. It goes on for a bloody lifetime. People (read friends) get impatient and bored and will walk out, partners (the roles in this version played by me) get sick of the role and leave the production. Critics (read doctors) think it’s the worst play ever and refuse to acknowledge that it is even a real play.

But I digress, the starring role, Fibromyalgia, plays its part perfectly as the villain and is hated by all, especially by the cast member playing that role. They have to endure, all the various roles as described above, fellow cast members not being very good at their role and sometimes walking out, friends and family (the audience) being totally uneducated in the aspects of plays (read the disease).

I’m not big noting myself here but, my roles aren’t easy either and sometimes those playing that role need support as well. I will assume (and this is probably a fair assumption) that those in the supporting roles (partners, family, kids) have never acted before and may find it hard. From my own experience the roles of Patience and Understanding are two of the hardest roles to play.

How does one prepare for such a role? Simple, research, research, research. Research Fibromyalgia. Sadly those playing the supporting cast will never fully understand the role of Fibromyalgia but with work on your own role you can help the person playing Fibromyalgia. It’s not called a supporting role for nothing you know, the name kind of gives it away “SUPPORTING ROLE”.

So how does the play, play out. Well one of the problems I face with this multiple role is that Caring, Understanding and Patience are really needed on stage through the entire play, kind of like a “Two Face” character from Batman, just in this case call me “Three Face”. Ugh, the visual image isn’t pretty. Oh and let’s be honest, me in heels, a dress and a wig in the role of Loving is scary and I’ll be honest I’m not very good at it. One day I’ll perfect the art of walking in heels. (not).

The other hard thing when playing these supporting roles is the script really doesn’t tell you when any of the Fibromyalgia roles are on stage which means those character changes for me have to be very quick which at the moment I really suck at but they say practice makes perfect.

Those in the supporting roles will get frustrated with the fact Fibromyalgia doesn’t care about times, surroundings, happenings and so forth it just decides to rear its ugly head. Personally, try to perfect your roles of Understanding and Patience. The rest can be worked on over time. I simply ask that if you find your supporting role hard, ask for support yourself, don’t just walk out mid production. You get to take a break from your role sometimes i.e. go off to work, sleep… but the role of Fibromyalgia is a constant role and they don’t get a break from it. Sadly when Odin wrote this play he also forgot to put in acts and an intermission, it’s just one long bloody play which I for one am willing to act out till the end of time, or until Odin decides to do a rewrite and add in the part of CURE which would be a brilliant finale so the curtain could come down on the play for ever.

Logan Harris (hopeful nominee for the best supporting actor EVER)

HERO LIST

Edit March 2014: This is an old hero list. Like any type of list like this things change. Some of these people are current some are not. I did think of doing a complete update but then figured I’d have to change it to regularly so I decided to leave it as it was current when I did it. I have done some slight editing, change a word here change a word there but for the majority of it it remains original.

I’m sure everyone has a hero/ idol list. A lot I’m sure are celebrities who have overcome cancer or the like. Some are fictional characters like Katniss from the Hunger Games. I’m sure she is the hero of a lot of girls and so on and so on. Some are family members, how many people think of their mum as their hero (I can here and now say without any doubt or question what so ever, my mother is so far from being my hero). People have heroes for differing reasons and heroes come in different forms such as real life people, fictional characters and/ or pets. I’m sure most of Victoria considers every fire-fighter that attended the Black Saturday bush-fires a hero.

Well this is my story about four of my heroes. No particular order except for the fact the celebrity in the list is below the other three.

JOHN CENA
Surely everyone has heard of John Cena, even if you don’t follow the wrestling. Probably more so in America but anyways. John gives all for the business he is in and uses it to his advantage in helping others. He has granted over 300 wishes to “Make a Wish” foundation and he was a strong pusher for WWE to help raise funds for the “Susan G.Komen” foundation, I suppose you would say it’s the American equivalent of the “McGrath Foundation” in Australia. He donates his frequent flyer points to the “Make a Wish” foundation. He is a strong supporter of the US military and is always the first to put his hand up for the Tribute to the Troops special WWE do every year. He is a strong supporter of the BE A STAR organisation that WWE supports. He doesn’t do this just because he is told too by WWE he does it because he cares.

BECKY TEMPLIN
Becky is a woman that my partner met through Facebook when she joined a group for Fibro sufferers. Well, that doesn’t make her a hero I hear you saying. Well, let me explain. For starters she suffers Fibro (read my earlier blog) and doesn’t let that stop her from being a mum to two gorgeous kids and a loving wife to her husband. A few months ago her sister (in law) was shot (read next hero) and during the following weeks and still to this day, Becky has done whatever she has been able to, to help Angie recover. She has gone above and beyond to help. Nothing is ever too much when she helps her family – even when Becky is in tremendous pain, if someone needs something she is the first to raise her hand.

Please keep in mind this woman, has two children, a husband, a household and a job yet she still made sure she found the time for Angie. Luckily she was able to take two weeks off from her job and was at the hospital every day. Seriously how many people would really be willing to do that?

Her son has problems with asthma and has had since he was very young to the point where they were offered an in home nurse to care for him. Becky says nope we’ll do it ourselves?

Um excuse me, when do you stop woman?

I personally haven’t known her for a long time and to be honest my partner hasn’t either but from what I do know it seems that Becky has things thrown at her out of left field a lot and she simply catches it with both hands and keeps going.

Becky you are my hero.

ANGIE TEMPLIN
Stolen from her page on http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/angietemplin a blog started by Becky:

Angie was shot in her home on 10/19/12 by her recently ex boyfriend. He then shot and killed himself. Angie was transported to TCH (Tri County Hospital) in Wadena and was flown to HCMC (Hennapin County Medical Center). She was taken to surgery as soon as she was able. She has a large hole in her pelvic bone. There was damage to the bladder and this was repaired. They are still concerned about this but they state she will have a catheter in for an extended amount of time. There was an exit wound out her buttock and there is no rectal involvement. This is a very positive thing. There is metal shards as she was shot with a shotgun a point blank range. There is also bone fragments to worry about. She has a long road ahead.

Quickly fast forward to today and she is home and very slowly working on her recovery routine.

Latest update from Becky: Currently she is upbeat. She is healing. A little frustrated that her pelvis isn’t healing as quickly as she thought but the MD, therapists and family are pleased. Exit wound is nearly healed. Entrance wound has some healing left and it will be some time. A compression glove has been ordered for her hand to smooth out the scars etc. A little worried about her ring finger as she only has feeling in one side. It is contracted OT is working on it and making progress. She is working a lot on that hand. She is still working on her image issues as she is missing her pinkie and some wrist bonemeal completely.

So why is this woman whom I have never met or spoken to my hero? Well, HELLO, for starters she is alive! This woman was shot, point black with a shot gun in her pelvic region. I’m not even going to imagine what that would be like but I’m thinking that knowing my pain threshold I would be wanting to be dead very quickly.

Since the 19th of October Angie has had more than 15 operations. 15, people, seriously that has got to suck on so many different levels.

So here we have a woman, who in one day had her whole life turned upside down by someone that she had loved and someone that loved her. She was shot, then watched her ex-boyfriend shoot himself. She then ended up in hospital (surprisingly not dead) where she had to endure operation after operation. She didn’t get to see her son for over a week (this I know would kill any parent especially a mother). I honestly believe most people would have given up all hope and no doubt at some point Angie probably did too and really who would blame her.

The woman defied the odds that for some strange reason were stacked against her higher than they should have been. Just reading her journal on Caring Bridge lets you understand that Angie is a fighter and hopefully you can understand why she is on my hero list.

I’m no medical expert but from what I have read and been told Angie should be up in Valhalla with Odin keeping an eye on her, instead she is making progress at slowly getting her life back together.

I cannot and will not even try to imagine what she has been/ is going through. I can’t fathom the thoughts that go through her head daily. Anyone that says they know what she is going through please come visit me because you deserve to be smacked for being stupid. No one but Angie will ever fully understand the daily fight she has and for that I say she is a hero.

SCARLETT
Anyone who has read my previous blogs or is friends with me on Facebook know how I feel about my fiancé and probably already realise she is my #1 hero and guardian angel. In saying that, I’m going to cheat a little bit and use previous stuff about her and maybe add a bit.

She is my life, my light, my nurse, my rock, my everything.

When we met I was not in the best spot I could be in after a mental breakdown, loss of job, loss of girlfriend (turns out this bit was a good thing). I had no direction and yes some would say I still don’t have any. She brought my daughters back into my life and loved them as her own. She gave me a good kick up the arse and got me moving again.

Scarlett saved me and gave me a purpose. I honestly believe I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her and she will sadly never know how much that means to me as there is no way to show her. She taught me to smile and laugh again.

Scarlett is/ has been by my side whenever I have needed her like going to the dentist, yes I know this is a simple thing but believe me without her, I wouldn’t survive a simple trip to the dentist. She was there when I was taken to hospital after collapsing, sitting by my side all hours of the day and night; she was there when I had skin cancer cut out of my leg, changing the dressings and making sure I stayed off my leg.

Aside from that and also alongside that, she has been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a disease which affects her daily with widespread chronic pain and various other diseases (also refer to last post), some days worse than others. There are days when she can hardly move but she still finds the strength do things for DD3 when she wants something and for the older kids when they need her. She puts her family first before herself and strives to make things the best she can for them. She would give her life for her family and I don’t know of anybody that is as so giving as she is.

Some of you will read this and say well that’s what any loving partner would do, (Scarlett said this too when she read it) but to me this isn’t normal, my other long termish partner was not as caring or as wonderful a step mum. Other partners have not gone to the dentist with me. In short Scarlett is the first person who has given me so much in the way of love and caring.

Scarlett is my hero and always will be.

Logan Harris (the man who is a fan)

FIBROMYALGIA!

FIBROMYALGIA!!! Is it real?
Yes. Yes it is.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

My partner has been diagnosed with Fibro and at first she said the doctor was full of shit. Well, since then she has changed her tune as many things about it make sense to her after doing some researching into it more.

Now, I have been accused by my partner (and with good reason) of not believing she had it and thinking it was all just excuses – yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. Well, in my defence, it was never a case of me thinking it wasn’t real or that she didn’t have it. It was my lack of understanding.

Do I understand it now? Hell no, and before you all yell at me and tell me I should, let me explain.

I don’t fully understand it but I’m learning.
Does Scarlett know all about it? Personally I don’t believe so.
She has joined many groups on Facebook set-up as support groups for those suffering from Fibro and she has made many friends through those groups but the thing I noticed most when she joined these groups is how much more she learned about it.

From what I do know and what I have read and heard, I honestly don’t believe anyone knows everything about it and to be honest I don’t think anyone will.

This doesn’t mean that us as partners, friends and family of those diagnosed with it should just push it aside. We should learn more about it.

How you ask? Well, it’s very simple.

Hello people, we live in the world of the internet, look on-line, ‘internet it’ (something my BIL said once instead of “Google it”), speak to your loved one who has it and get them to explain it from their point of view and how it effects them.

This is something that affects 2-4% of the population.

Ha, I hear you say that’s not much.

Well, people, there is more than 7 billion people in the world which means there is between 140 – 280 million people with Fibro. Russia, has a population of about 145 million so when you think of it like that, all I can say is not suitable for this blog.

Fibro can even cause relationship/marriages to fall apart. I can only assume this is due to the lack of understanding by the partner who doesn’t suffer Fibro. Hell, I’m sure I was even one of them but the fact is I love my partner too much to let something like this ruin us and I’m trying to understand things more.

I watch my partner suffer pain, fatigue, fogginess, weakness and differing levels of depression and anxiety daily, some days are good and you wouldn’t think there is anything wrong with her, some days though – she struggles to get out of bed. I cannot even begin to imagine the mental turmoil this places on a person. My partner being the person she is loves being a mother and spending time with all her kids and I do know that it tears her up inside when she can’t because of the pain she is in. She is not able to go out and have a social life like she used to. Dates for us can sometimes only be confirmed on the day.

People, I only ask for a few simple things of you.

If you know of someone who suffers Fibro learn about it and support them.

It can cause not just physical pain but mental pain due to the fact that the person suffering Fibro doesn’t get the support from loved ones.

Logan Harris (supportive partner of a fibro sufferer)

7 YEARS OF WONDER, HEARTBREAK, UPS AND DOWNS, BUT MOST OF ALL 7 YEARS OF LOVE

~This was originally posted on the anniversary of my partner and I becoming the couple we are today.~

(Disclaimer:- I apologise if this seems rough and unrefined but it is not edited due to the fact that it is for my editor. Names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Seven years ago I met my guardian angel, Scarlett. She is my life, my light, my nurse, my rock, my everything.

Seven years ago I was not in the best spot I could be in. I had no direction, (okay some would argue I still have no direction). I was lucky enough to met my future wife, my best friend, the mother of my next child, whom came into our life 3 years ago. She has become the best step-mother to my girls I could of asked for (in fact just read mother there).

Scarlett saved me and gave me a purpose. I honestly believe I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her and she will sadly never know how much that means to me as there is no way to show her.

I will admit the seven years have not been total bliss and some of the down times have been my fault and some have been hers but thankfully we have battled through those times and they have made us stronger.

Scarlett has been by my side whenever I have needed her like going to the dentist, yes I know this is a simple thing but believe me without her I wouldn’t survive a simple trip to the dentist due to my anxiety. She was there when I was taken to hospital after collapsing; she was there when I had skin cancer cut out of my leg.

Scarlett doesn’t judge me, she supports me without question, she goes above and beyond to make me happy.

There is nothing in the world that can measure my love for her. I love her more than anything else and I always will. She is the woman I plan to spend the rest of my life with, grow old with, delve into the future with. No matter what I do in the future I know she will be right there beside me holding my hand or having her arm around me supporting me.

Scarlett, I love you and I always will without question. Thank you for being you, without you I would be lost, you berated me for neglecting my girls, especially DD1 and for that I am forever grateful. You showed me that someone does still care about me. You showed me what real true love was. You showed me that love can be like it is in the stories.

I love you beautiful woman.

Logan Harris (luckiest man alive)